Tips for Pastors Counseling Abuse
This is a quick resource for helping those who may be in an abusive or toxic relationship. I wanted to provide a quick list of tips you can refer to as a pastor, Christian leader, or friend to help female victims who are in abusive relationships. If you’d like more information on this subject please check out these resources. Favorites are listed below and where you can find on Amazon. What Can/Should You Do? Make safety a priority for the abused spouse. We want to assess the level of danger and help create plan for her to leave. But proceed with caution because in many cases she is most in...
Read MoreIntensity vs. Intimacy and Pacing in Dating
In the book The Addictive Personality author Craig Nakken notes one feature of the addictive personality that compounds the difficulty in freeing oneself from addiction. He said that addicts typically make the mistake of confusing intensity with intimacy; that the intensity one experiences emotionally during the addictive process is wrongly perceived as intimacy or closeness. To feel good or euphoric is comparable to feeling loved and accepted. He goes on to give an apt illustration of how this same phenomena plays out with his teenage niece. He talked about her being “in love” with a boy...
Read MoreSexual Harassment, Sowing and Reaping, and Christian Integrity
As we have recently seen in the news and witnessed a firestorm on social media, much attention has been drawn to the longstanding issue in our country around sexual harassment, particularly sexual misconduct in the work place. Women primarily but also men has suffered silently for years under the humiliation of being accosted and having sexual advancements made by employers and fellow co-workers. More and more victims of harassment and violations of dignity have become publicized. Well known actors, movie and film producers, corporate execs, television celebrities, government officials,...
Read MoreA Confession By Any Other Name. . .
A Confession by Any Other Name “Having a ministry that is fueled by personal devotion has its roots in humble, heart-deep confession.” Sometimes we have to repent and confess until we believe it, or if I can say it this way, until our hearts feel it. Our repentance is not genuine unless (1) we believe we need to change and (2) we really want to change. There are times we can mentally assent to what we know is wrong in our hearts. We nod to the truth but don’t have the desire to make it a reality in our lives. I’ve seen this truth played out in my life and was encouraged when I saw this...
Read MoreLocation, location, location!
Counselors Reflect on Dangerous Calling by Paul Tripp A Series to Care for the Care Takers of God’s People Pastor, make sure you are being pastored the entire time you are pastoring others. Seek out a mature and reliable person with whom you can share your heart. Paul David Tripp, ‘Dangerous Calling,’ p.80 Paul Tripp practically cuts to the chase by imploring pastors to humility in submitting themselves to the pastoral care. When Jesus is not in His place as the King of kings, the hierarchy can become a bit bottlenecked, and theo-political chaos ensues. Christian leaders can...
Read MoreFamily First
Counselors Reflect on Dangerous Calling by Paul Tripp A Series to Care for the Care Takers of God’s People Is it safe to assume that your pastor is loving his wife, children and extended family? (p. 79) In the last section of chapter 5 under the heading A Better, More Healthy Way, Tripp encourages and gives tips to pastors and the churches they pastor to help care for those pastors families. Pastors should regularly evaluate and measure their public ministry to others by the health of their personal ministry to his family. Pastors’ first ministry is to their wives and children. ...
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