Brad Hambrick

How to Listen

Posted by on Jan 25, 2013 in Brad Hambrick | 0 comments

We are often poor listeners because we think of listening as merely hearing and retaining information. In a day of information overload, the significance of listening is easy to overlook. Consider this expanded definition of listening – listening is how you enter the world of another person. In relationships “insiders” and “outsiders” are determined by what you share and what you’re willing to hear. When you tell someone your private thoughts you make them an “insider.” When you withhold your private thoughts you make them an “outsider.” When you are available to listen...

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Evaluation: Listening in Marriage

Posted by on Jan 18, 2013 in Brad Hambrick | 0 comments

We often miss the power of common things. Being at a little league game doesn’t seem like a big deal until you hear a adult lament, “My father never came to any of my games.” We often only fully appreciate the significance of small things our spouse does after they pass away and “life feels so empty now.” When we look back at the people who most shaped our lives, it usually because of their presence and care in ordinary moments rather than great actions or profound words. Listening is another common thing which often has a power that few people realize. Consider the power of...

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Healthy Ways to Capture Memories

Posted by on Dec 13, 2012 in Brad Hambrick | 0 comments

In the end, grief is about how we remember. Memory is powerful. It shapes our lives in many ways. Memory impacts our emotions. Memory shapes the significance we give to current events. Memory influences what we expect from the future. So the effort to grieve well could be reframed as learning to remember in healthy ways. Too often we try to define “getting over grief” as “moving past” our loss, which implies forgetting or not thinking about our loved one. We rightly resist this conception of grief. But unless we have a healthy alternative, we avoid one error and get trapped in painful...

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Applying the Grief Seminar to Losses Not Caused by Death

Posted by on Dec 7, 2012 in Brad Hambrick | 0 comments

Often it can be hard to recognize grief as grief, because of the absence of a death. Major losses can be caused by many other life changes than someone dying. But this difficulty goes well beyond the challenge of rightly labeling an experience. When we do not recognize the grief element in a major loss or life transition, we begin to try to make sense of that experience and overcome its fallout in ways that are not suited for the difficulties that lie ahead. That is the purpose of this appendix – to prepare you to apply the materials contained in this study to grief experiences that are not...

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Memorial Ceremony for an Unborn Child

Posted by on Dec 1, 2012 in Brad Hambrick | 0 comments

Grieving the loss of an unborn child can be particularly difficult. No one else had the privilege of knowing your baby and, therefore, many of the rituals of grief (i.e., sharing pictures or stories of how the lost loved one touched other’s lives) cannot be engaged. Because no one else knew their baby, parents often try to take this journey of grief alone. What follows are suggestions for how to honor your lost child and facilitate your own grieving process. Do not consider this appendix to be a recipe to be followed directly, but as a collection of ideas to take what best applies to your...

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Grief Evaluation

Posted by on Nov 23, 2012 in Brad Hambrick | 0 comments

Below is an evaluation to help you see (acknowledge) how you are doing with the different challenging experiences that grief brings. At this stage in the journey, it is tempting to begin comparing your loss with others. Inevitably, we begin to think, “Others have it so much worse than me. Why am I down?” Resist the urge to compare your loss with the loss of others. Just because Person A got hit by a truck does not mean that Person B’s knee surgery hurt any less. The purpose of acknowledging the history and realness of your grief is not to give you a tool to downplay your loss (that...

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