Evaluation: Listening in Marriage

Article by: Bridgehaven Team

We often miss the power of common things. Being at a little league game doesn’t seem like a big deal until you hear a adult lament, “My father never came to any of my games.” We often only fully appreciate the significance of small things our spouse does after they pass away and “life feels so empty now.” When we look back at the people who most shaped our lives, it usually because of their presence and care in ordinary moments rather than great actions or profound words.

Listening is another common thing which often has a power that few people realize. Consider the power of listening represented in this quote by C.S. Lewis on humility.

“Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all (p. 128).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

The following evaluation is designed to help you assess (1) the atmosphere of listening, (2) the obstacles to listening, and (3) the skills of listening in your marriage.


This resource was taken from the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Communication” seminar. Several of the plumblines from this section of the seminar are:

  • Be a servant-listener: seek to understand before being understood.
  • The vast majority of communication problems would be resolved with better listening.
  • Good listening is simply living incarnationally.
  • Listening is a skill that is most necessary when it is most difficult.
  • The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

Part One: Saturday February 16, 2012
Part Two: Saturday February 23, 2012
Time: 4:00 to 5:30 pm or 6:00 to 7:30 pm
Location: The Summit Church, Brier Creek South Venue
Address: 2415-107 Presidential Drive; Durham, NC 27703
Cost: Free
RSVP: Part One // Part Two